


Birds of Prey and Harley Quinn’s Fantabulous Idea to get Huntress Laid (So She’ll Be Less Grumpy)

by Dreamshaper



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: Dinah disagrees, F/F, Harley has a great idea, Mostly Humour, but also will have smut, what could go wrong?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24272095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamshaper/pseuds/Dreamshaper
Summary: Harley decides that Helena is too grumpy and that she needs to get laid for that to get better. So Harley wants to set her up with someone. Helena is willing, Dinah is not impressed, and Renee is just done with those two fools.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance
Comments: 82
Kudos: 220





	1. Chapter 1

“To us”, Dinah proudly says, raising her beer, “and another successful night out. We’ve been amazing.”

“Again”, Renee adds, while Helena solemnly nods; they clink their bottles, then each take a long sip, Helena shifting a bit on the bench afterwards, she has taken quite the kick to her thigh and it still stings, to her dismay.

“You okay there”, Dinah picks up on it at once, not really surprising Renee, she’s taken note of how much attention Dinah is paying to Helena’s state and moods, while the object of her interest is quite unaware of this, “that guy did kick you pretty hard.”

“Yeah, fine”, Helena tells her at once, “honestly, I got lucky, I think he was aiming for my ass, I wouldn’t be able to sit if he had landed his kick there.”

She’s completely serious, so it surprises her a bit when both Dinah and Renee burst out laughing; she blinks, and frowns, it’s not the first time this happens, and she figures it won’t be the last, but it still makes her wonder what she’s missed, what’s so funny about what she’s said.

“Well, I’m glad your ass is fine”, Dinah says, and winks at her; Helena solemnly says “thank you, me too”, and ends up confused again when Renee rolls her eyes, the former cop doesn’t say anything though, just takes another sip of her beer, and Dinah does the same, so Helena shrugs it off and drinks as well.

Her beer ends up empty with that last gulp of it, and she comes to her feet, asking the other two if they want a refill as well; they both tell her yes, and she makes her way to the bar, Dinah watching her go, looking at her butt quite unabashedly.

“Careful there or your eyes will pop out”, Renee comments, Dinah glancing at her before her gaze moves back to the assassin’s tall form, “it’s a good thing your powers are voice-based and not laser eyes or something, or Helena truly wouldn’t be able to sit down again.”

“Then she’d at least notice”, Dinah mumbles, then sighs, “seriously, how could she miss that bit about me saying her ass is fine?”

“Took it the literal way”, Renee replies with a shrug, Dinah snorting in response, “come on, we’ve been working together for a while now, surely you’ve noticed she tends to do that. And you can’t even blame her.”

“I don’t”, Dinah says with a small sigh, “I just wish she’d… I don’t know, realize I’ve been hitting on her for the past few weeks. If I didn’t need to worry that it might freak her out, I’d just kiss her, I’m telling you.”

“Please do that when I’m not around”, Renee dryly says, “just in case she doesn’t freak out and you guys get handsy.”

“Not like that’s gonna happen anytime soon”, Dinah mumbles, finishing the last few drops of her drink, and just then, Helena returns - and she’s not alone, Harley trailing along in her wake, smiling brightly and waving at them as she follows the assassin to their little corner booth.

“Look whom I found”, Helena says, sliding into her seat again while Harley gives another wave, then drops down onto the last empty seat, next to Renee; the bright green cocktail she holds sloshes dangerously, and Renee eyes her warily, warning that she’ll smack her if she gets that stuff on her pants.

“Is that a way to greet an old friend”, Harley admonishes, taking a sip of the cocktail and thus lessening the danger of it sloshing over the rim of her glass; Renee raises an eyebrow in response, then points out she’s not sure if they are friends, let alone old friends, and Harley gasps dramatically in reply.

“Montoya, you hurt me so”, she then claims, placing her free hand over her heart, “Canary, Huntress, please tell me you don’t agree with this.”

Helena just shrugs, looking uncomfortable, and Dinah raises an eyebrow; Harley pouts at her, and she sighs, they did work well together during the amusement park fight, she figures, and Harley has returned her car a few days after she’d stolen it, so she figures that they at least have some sort of bond.

“I wouldn’t say old friend”, she thus says, “but… new-ish friend? You okay with that?”

“Very”, Harley nods, “and friends look out for each other so, Helena, tell me, why are you still so grumpy all the time?”

“What”, Helena says, blinking in confusion, Dinah giving Harley a warning look - one which she skillfully ignores though, keeping her gaze on the assassin, smirking as she takes another sip of her drink before she continues.

“Just wondering”, she says, “I mean, I get it that you were grumpy when you were doing your lone wolf thing, but you got good buddies now, shouldn’t that make you less grumpy?”

“Harley, leave her be”, Dinah says, knowing Helena doesn’t like it to be the center of attention like that, “we’re not asking you why you’re still annoying either, do we.”

“I’m not annoying, I’m quirky”, Harley says, then points at Helena, the assassin looking at her finger warily, as if she expects something to pop out of it maybe, bringing up her bottle to distract herself from this weirdness with some beer, “and I think I know what you need to be less grumpy, Huntress. You need to get laid.”

Helena spits a spray of beer over the table, and Harley bursts into giggles while Renee calls out “oh come on!”; Dinah blinks, glad that she’s sitting next to Helena and thus has been spared the beer shower, Harley has gotten most of it, but she doesn’t really seem to mind. 

Dinah goes still, because she knows Harley is observant, more than people often think she is, and if she has noticed the way she’s looking at Helena and says the wrong thing now, it could ruin everything; apparently, Harley doesn't plan to do that, her giggles slowly subsiding, but her eyes still sparkling.

“That will relax you for sure”, she claims, “and I’m just the right person to help, I’ll find you someone to treat you right. Trust me.”

“Um”, Helena lets out, and Dinah fights the urge to groan and bury her face in her hands.

This, she decides, is going to be just awful.


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay so”, Harley continues, undeterred by the look of dismay on Helena’s face, “let’s start with the basics. What do you like? Men, women, both?”

Helena mumbles something into her beer, clearly uncomfortable, but apparently not willing to tell Harley off, either; Harley puts her hand behind her ear and leans forward, and Helena repeats herself, blushing furiously as she does so.

“Women”, she says, and if it had been a different circumstance, Dinah would have pumped her fist in triumph, but since Harley was working on hooking Helena up with someone else, she couldn’t find it within her to be happy; Harley nods, as if she’s expected this, then claps her hands, looking excited.

“Okay, good”, she says, “we’ll find you a nice lady then. What’s your type?”

“Um”, Helena lets out, clearly uncomfortable, “I… I think… I like long hair, and a good smile. And she should be okay with what I do.”

“Yeah, I can work with that”, Harley nods, even though it has been a rather generic description, “I got a few ideas already. Anything else? Any no-gos? You turned off by smoking? Crime?”

“No criminals”, Dinah strictly says, before Helena can answer, and notices from the corner of her eye how Helena looks at her in surprise, “she just said that whoever it is has to be okay with what she does, and that involves fighting crime.”

“Right”, Harley realizes, Renee giving Dinah a confused look as well, clearly wondering why she is helping with this if she wants Helena all to herself, “okay, no crime then. Anything else?”

Helena just shrugs, and Harley seems satisfied with this; she lets out a thoughtful “hmmm” noise, then tells the assassin she has a few ideas, but will have to make a few calls first, and that she’ll get back to her.

“You do that”, Helena mumbles, and Harley nods, smirking - before she pulls out her phone and snaps a picture of the taller woman, one which probably isn’t very flattering, Dinah thinks to herself, what with how this has surprised Helena, but then, she can’t imagine the assassin smile on command, either, so she figures it doesn’t make much of a difference. 

“Good”, Harley says as she checks the picture, “that will do. I got your biceps on that, too, I think those are among your best features. And those pretty eyes, of course.”

_ Agreed _ , Dinah thinks to herself, taking a long sip of her beer; Renee is giving her another look, as if asking her to step in and stop this, but she has no idea how to do this at this point, so she says nothing, not even when Harley claims she’ll have a date for Helena until the next weekend. 

“I’ll keep you posted!” she adds, then bounces her to feet; Helena just shrugs again, and Harley grins at her before she practically skips away, Renee shaking her head as she watches her retreat.

“You know you can tell her No, right”, Renee points out once she can be sure Harley isn’t within earshot anymore, “she’ll probably set you up with some weirdo or something.”

“I think she means well”, Helena mumbles, toying with her bottle, Dinah looking at her in surprise, “and it can’t hurt, can it? I mean, I only met you guys because she talked us all into working together, so I sort of… owe her?”

“That is true”, Dinah realizes, “we all just were at the amusement park because of the whole mess with Cass and the diamond. Funny how that worked out, huh.”

“Well”, Renee says with a shrug while Helena nods, “I reserve the right to say  _ I told you so _ when you wake up in a tub full of ice and missing a kidney after going out with whatever weirdo Harley deems suitable for you.”

“Well, I’m not exactly normal, either, am I”, Helena says, a bit sharper than intended perhaps, as Renee looks at her in surprise, “so maybe any weirdo Harley will find will be just right for me. S’not like I could get a normal person, anyway.”

“Helena, that’s not true”, Dinah says, a bit startled by this outburst, it’s not often that Helena says so much at once, but she knows that this isn’t the first time Helena makes some sort of self-deprecating comment, even though it is the first time she clearly refers to herself as not normal.

“Course it is”, Helena mumbles, taking a long swig of her beer before she continues, “I mean, look at me. I got more baggage than a tourist jet, all I’m good at is beating people up and killing them. Can you see me dating some woman who works in a nine to five job? Cause I can’t.”

She finishes her beer with one large gulp, then puts the bottle down harder than necessary and comes to her feet, gruffly letting the stunned other two know she’s leaving; Renee can only nod, and Dinah feels her heart clench up when Helena turns and walks off, not looking back at them.

“Damn, Canary”, Renee says as the assassin stomps off and leaves the bar, “you know that’s gonna end in a big mess, right. Why didn’t you do anything to stop it?”

“Why me”, Dinah claims, deflecting instead of answering the question, “why didn’t you?! You also just sat there.”

“Did not”, Renee protests, “I warned her about ending up in a tub filled with ice. And also, I don’t want to get into her pants. Unlike you.”

“Well, it’s not like I’m getting anywhere near in her pants”, Dinah sighs, toying with her bottle unhappily, “so maybe I should just give it up. Maybe it’s not mean to be, and whoever Harley finds will make her happy.”

“So you just give up like that?” Renee demands with a raise of her eyebrows, “Harley says she wants to get her a date and you think okay, fine, and step back? After weeks of hitting on her? I find that hard to believe. That’s not like you at all.”

“I don’t know”, Dinah sighs, unhappily glancing at the door, “like you’ve said, I’ve been hitting on her for weeks and it’s leading nowhere. Maybe I’m wasting my time.”

“Right”, Renee says with a roll of her eyes, “and that’s why you sit here now looking like your puppy dog died, cause you’re so happy to let someone else have a shot at the Huntress. You know what you should do? You should just ask her out. Be open and blunt.”

“And if she’s not interested, the whole group is gonna be ruined”, Dinah points out, and Renee has to admit this is a good point, “maybe that’s why she’s not picking up on me hitting on her, you know. Not because she doesn’t realize it, but because she’s not interested.”

“I don’t know”, Renee sighs, feeling for Dinah as she can tell how unhappy all of this makes her, “I’d say just go for it and ask her, but you are right about messing up the group. So I really don’t know what I should tell you.”

“I guess I’ll just wait, and see”, Dinah mumbled, finishing her beer, “see how this wonderful idea of Harley works out. I’m leaving, too, I’m not in the mood to party any longer.”

Renee nods, and watches her go, and finds herself wondering if this perhaps isn’t already dangerous for the group, more so than Dinah asking Helena out could ever have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Helena, someone give her a hug! Looking at you, Miss Lance.


	3. Chapter 3

Apparently, Helena has chosen to act as if nothing has happened the previous evening, showing up at the warehouse they use as their headquarters at seven on the dot, as she always does; she’s gruff, but that’s nothing new, and she sounds like always when she greets Dinah and Renee, and both immediately decide to go along with it, figuring this might be better than bringing the previous evening up again.

“Any leads?” Helena asks as she takes her usual seat, on the couch; normally, Dinah sits next to her, but the singer has taken one the armchairs this time, and Helena wonders for a moment if this means anything before she shrugs it off, still embarrassed about what she has said the previous evening and not wanting to add any worries to that pile. 

“Deal going down at the harbour”, Renee tells her, “weapons, apparently, and we really don’t need any more machine guns in the streets of Gotham.”

“Agreed”, Dinah says at once, “but we better be careful, if they can unpack those guns too quickly, we might all go down in a hail of bullets and that is just not a good time.”

“Bulletproof vests”, Renee wisely says, and for a moment, the previous evening is forgotten as Dinah and Helena exchange a long-suffering look, “I keep telling you, you ought to get those.”

“Too restricting”, Helena replies, and Dinah nods at once, they’ve had this discussion roughly half a dozen times, “once they make them less bulky, we can get some. For tonight, we’ll just have to hit them fast.”

“Well, I’ll be wearing mine”, Renee tells them, “but I’ll be nice and not say I told you so when I get shot and am fine and you get shot and are in the hospital.”

“Thank you”, Dinah dryly says, “you can get us drinks and candies from the gift shop. We got any details on where this deal is gonna go down? And when?”

“Midnight, at the south dock”, Renee lets them know, and Dinah briefly ponders why such things always either happen at the harbour or at an abandoned warehouse, why it can’t be some well-lit, nice place for once, “so we still got time to prepare.”

“We better be there early”, Helena points out, all business now that she has a mission to focus on again now, “get a good look at the surroundings, come up with a plan.”

“Yeah”, Renee agrees, Dinah nodding as well, “but even then, we still got time. So relax until then, we need to be on the top of our game once we go out to stop these guys.”

She gets up and retreats to the little room she uses as her office, something she often does when they wait for the time to go out to roll around; she has a laptop there, doing research on other targets and leads, but Dinah suspects that this time, it’s also a way to give Helena and her some privacy.

As always when she has time at her hands, Helena starts busying herself by taking care of her weapons; she begins with the crossbow, taking it apart and cleaning it, and while usually, Dinah also finds something to keep herself busy, she stays this time, and watches her, and if Helena finds this odd or bothersome, she doesn’t comment on it.

For a while they just sit there in silence, the only sounds being those of the crossbow being taken apart; and to Dinah’s surprise, it’s Helena who speaks up first, it’s not often that she’s the one to break the silence, Dinah figures she’s used to it, Helena doesn’t talk much about her unique upbringing, but Dinah does know that the three men who have raised her haven’t been the most talkative.

“Sorry about yesterday”, Helena mumbles, keeping her gaze focused on her crossbow even though Dinah knows she doesn’t need to, she could do this blindfolded and possibly with one hand tied behind her back, “just… storming off after unloading this shit on you guys.”

“Don’t be”, Dinah reassures her at once, she still doesn’t like the thought of Helena going on a date with someone who’s not her, but she pushes that aside for now, remembering all too well what Helena has said the previous evening, and telling herself that this is not the time and place for her jealousy.

_ And there isn’t even anything to be jealous of _ , she reprimands herself,  _ it’s not like she’s already making out with some random woman Harley’s found for her. And hey! Bonus! You now know she likes women! _

“That’s what friends are here for”, she adds, getting up from her seat and moving to sit next to her again, in the spot she usually uses, and she wonders if she imagines Helena relaxing visibly when she does so or if it’s really happening, “but, for the record, I still think it’s not true.”

Helena just shrugs, not really wanting to bring it up again; Dinah still feels bad for her though, and reaches out and briefly touches her shoulder, the assassin’s fingers stilling as she turns her head to look at her.

“Maybe you won’t find someone who works a regular nine to five job to share your life with”, Dinah has to admit, that would be difficult already because the Birds of Prey usually work at night, “but you deserve to find someone to make you happy, someone who’ll treat you right.”

_ Like I would _ , she adds mentally, but she doesn’t dare say this out loud, she feels like they’re mending some sort of rift which has formed between them the previous night and she doesn’t want to rip that wide open again by saying the wrong thing or making a move too rash.

“Maybe”, Helena sighs, “honestly, I’m not even sure anymore this is a good idea in the first place. Must have been the beer talking yesterday when I agreed to that.”

“Possibly”, Dinah says, smiling a bit now, “we all know alcohol and Harley don’t mix, doesn’t matter if she’s had the alcohol or one of us. But hey, who knows, maybe she’ll surprise you and find you the perfect date.”

“Doubt it”, Helena says, looking at her again, and their eyes meet, and Dinah can feel her heart skip a beat; it’s not the first time they have eye contact like this, but it has never been this  _ intense _ , she almost expects the air between them to start crackling.

It would be so easy, she thinks, to just lean in now and kiss Helena, just capture her lips with her own and see where it leads, and she gets ready to do it, gets ready to lean in, this is it, she decides, this is the moment she--

“Oh, piece of shit, come on, fuck!”

They both jump when Renee curses loudly in her office, and the moment is gone, Helena looks at her crossbow again and goes back to cleaning it, as if nothing has happened, as if they haven’t been this close to kissing right now.

This, Dinah decides as she wants to scream in frustration, is truly awful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Dinah should have said the "Like I would" part out loud. XD


	4. Chapter 4

Their mission goes just fine, they ambush the weapon dealers before the weapons can actually be unpacked and take care of them quickly and efficiently, leaving them and the evidence for the police; and when they return to the warehouse, Harley is waiting for them there, sitting on the couch Helena and Dinah have been using earlier this day, her feet up on the table, even though she swings them to the floor when the three women enter.

“There you guys are”, she states, smiling brightly, “I was wondering when you’d be back. Have you been out and about beating up friends of mine?”

“I hope not”, Renee dryly says, “unless you’re making friends with weapon dealers lately?”

“Nope”, Harley claims, none of them is sure if they can believe it, but they all decide not to question it, Dinah feeling wary as she has a pretty good idea why Harley is here.

“So, Helena”, Harley says, confirming the singer’s suspicions, “I may have found you a date.”

Helena at least doesn’t look overjoyed, Dinah realizes, appearing as wary as Dinah herself feels about this; she lets out a vaguely questioning noise, but clearly, the lack of response is not enough to deter Harley, as she nods with enthusiasm, bouncing to her feet. 

“Her name’s Samantha, but she goes by Sam”, she lets the assassin know, “works at a bar I often go to. I showed her your picture and she’s very interested. She wants to go out for dinner tomorrow, you free?”

“I guess so”, Helena says, briefly glancing at Dinah, as if to gauge her reaction, Harley letting out an excited squeal and clapping her hands; apparently, she has come prepared, as she as written down the time and place of the date, and has a picture of the woman for Helena, too, she they’ll recognize each other.

“You’ll like her, trust me”, she adds as she shoves the paper and photo into Helena’s hands, “she ticks all your boxes. Not that there were many. You can thank me at your wedding.”

“Um”, Helena lets out, Harley giving her a wink - before she changed the topic and asks if they want to help her take down a small time drug dealer, explaining that the guy had set up shop in her alley and she really doesn’t like that.

“Sure, why not”, Dinah agrees immediately, she now knows how Helena has to feel when her rage takes over; the thought of the assassin going on a date with this women Harley has found makes her blood boil, and she figures that it can’t hurt to take that anger out on some hapless drug dealer.

“Great”, Harley says happily, “and while we go there, I can tell you all about Sam, Helena. You’ll like her, I’m sure.”

“Uh-huh”, Helena lets out as they get moving, and once again, Dinah fights the urge to scream in frustration.

* * *

Beating up at the drug dealer has made Dinah feel a bit better, but apparently, kicking people is a better outlet for Helena and her rage than for Dinah’s anger; and so, she’s still grumpy when she arrives at home, even though that emotion is briefly pushed aside by surprise when she finds Cassandra sitting in front of her door.

“They being assholes again?” she asks right away, making the teenager nod as she sighs; Dinah sighs as well, feeling bad for her, and tells herself to pull herself together, Cass has nothing to do with what is going on and she certainly doesn’t want her to pick up on her mood and ask nosy questions.

“What are you so grumpy about”, Cassandra wants to know as she follows her into her apartment, and Dinah makes a face.

Well, that certainly hasn’t worked out.

“I’m not grumpy”, she lies, and Cassandra actually snorts, making the singer frown; the teenager flops down onto the couch, then vaguely gestures at her, smirking when she replies.

“You better tell that to your face”, she says, and Dinah huffs, “cause you look really pissed. What’s going on?”

For a moment, Dinah considers telling her it is none of her business, she is quite young still after all, perhaps too young for such drama; then though, a plan starts to form in her mind, and she finds herself smiling as she sits down next to her.

“Helena has a date tomorrow”, she tells Cassandra, earning a surprised and confused look, “and it’s not with me, and that annoys me. You want to do me a favour?”

“You want me to ask her out for you? That would be weird”, Cassandra says, and Dinah rolls her eyes, then shakes her head, pulling a twenty from her pocket afterwards, Cassandra eying it as the singer replies.

“No, I don’t want you to ask her out for me, I want you to spy on her”, Dinah says, and Cassandra blinks, “make sure this woman Harley has set her up with isn’t a creepy weirdo. And call me in case it seems like that is what’s going on.”

“You know I’m thirteen, right”, Cassandra questions, “you think I’ll be able to tell if that lady is a creepy weirdo?”

“I’m fairly certain you will”, Dinah dryly says, and Cassandra shrugs, “you’ve spent enough time around creepy weirdos to know them. Can you do that for me? Please?”

“Fine, cause you said please”, Cassandra decides, the singer smiling in response, “and because you’ll pay me a twenty. What do I tell her if she spots me? You know she might.”

“You’ll come up with something”, Dinah replies, and Cassandra rolls her eyes as that hasn’t been very helpful, “just don’t tell her you’re out picking pockets, she’ll insist on dropping you off here and that might… ruin her date. If it’s going well. And I don’t want that.”

“Wait”, Cassandra says, confused now, “you just said you’re annoyed she’s not going out with you, and yet you don’t want to ruin her date?”

“I want her to be happy”, Dinah replies, voice going soft, “and if that’s with someone else, so be it.”

“You adults are weird”, Cassandra decides in response, and Dinah snorts, “but okay, fine, I’ll do it and I’ll try to not let her catch me.”

“Thank you”, Dinah says, it does feel a bit weird to send Cassandra to spy on Helena like that, but she figures it’d be even more weird if she’d do so herself, and at least, this will earn Cassandra some money, so she won’t have to pick pockets for a day or two. 

“This is where she’ll be”, she adds, having memorized the time and location of the date when Harley has given it to Helena; she passes the information on to Cassandra, and the girl promises her she’ll do a good job, Dinah thanking her again before she asks her if they should order some pizza now.

And as she does so, she truly hopes that her whole grandiose plan won’t turn out to have been a horrible idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spy Cassandra! Now let's see how that will work out XD


	5. Chapter 5

In the next evening, there’s no mission for the Birds of Prey, and so, Dinah can stay home and brood over the fact that Helena is out on a date  _ right this minute _ and it’s not with her; and apparently, Cassandra has decided to keep her updated on how her spying job is going, and Dinah isn’t sure to be glad or dismayed about that, she really doesn’t want a live report of Helena making out with her date or maybe even going home with the woman to do more than just make out.

_ Got a good view at the restaurant _ , Cassandra’s first text says,  _ Helena not here yet. _

_ Helena’s arrived _ , the next text comes five minutes later,  _ saying Hi to some lady waiting outside. The lady’s pretty. _

“The lady’s pretty”, Dinah mimics in a high-pitched voice, then realizes she’s being juvenile and makes herself shut up; she blushes to herself, glad that she’s home alone, Renee never would have let her live that one down. 

_ Maybe Helena doesn’t agree _ , the next text comes in, and Dinah’s eyebrows shoot upwards,  _ she just left again. Didn’t even go in with the lady. Lady doesn’t look upset though, she’s leaving, too. _

_ Where is Helena going, _ Dinah texts back, even though she knows there’s no chance Cassandra knows this, and the response which comes a moment later confirms this.

_ How am I supposed to know, she drove off on her bike _ , Cass has written,  _ I’m gonna go back home, this is boring. You still paying me though, yes? _

_ Yes,  _ Dinah confirms,  _ drop by whenever. Thanks anyway. _

Cassandra just sends a thumbs-up emoji in response, and Dinah puts her phone onto the table before she leans back into the couch and looks up at the ceiling, deep in thought, wondering what has made Helena leave so quickly, without even truly giving the woman a chance.

_ Not her type? Maybe she got weirdo vibes from her? Maybe Renee got to her with her talk about waking up in a bathtub full of ice. _

She wonders if she can ask Helena how her date has gone the next time she’ll see her, or if it will seem weird; and even though she truly does want Helena to be happy, even if it’s not with her, part of her is glad that the date apparently has been a bust, this might make her selfish and petty, but she can’t help herself.

There’s a knock on her door, and she sits up straight, wondering if it’s Cassandra already; she knows the restaurant Harley has set the date up at isn’t far from her place, but still Cassandra has been fast if it is her, and Dinah tenses as she moves to the door, ready to kick, just in case, as she pulls it open.

When it’s Helena in front of her door, she can only blink, and fights the urge to pinch herself, momentarily wondering if she’s fallen asleep and is dreaming now.

“Um, hi”, Helena says, shifting from one foot to the other a bit awkwardly, and that snaps Dinah out of her stupor; she steps aside to let her enter, clearing her throat, reminding herself that she has to keep the fact she sent Cassandra to spy a secret.

“Hi”, she says, “uh, not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? Isn’t it your big date night?”

“I, uhm, I cancelled”, Helena says, and Dinah fights hard to not break into a wide grin, not wanting to give Helena any wrong impressions, even though it does make her happy to hear it from the assassin herself and not from Cassandra.

“Why?” she innocently asks as she gestures at the couch, asking Helena if she wants a beer before the other woman can reply; Helena nods, and Dinah goes to get the drinks, telling herself to not grin like an idiot, no matter what Helena is going to tell her now.

“So?” she repeats as she joins her again and hands her the beer, “why? If you want to tell me. She give off weirdo vibes?”

“No”, Helena replies, awkwardly playing with her beer bottle instead of drinking, “she, um… she seemed nice.”

“But?” Dinah prompts, finding her unbelievably adorable as she sits there, looking at everything but at her and toying with the bottle; Helena clears her throat, then shrugs, and looks up at her, and as their eyes meet, Dinah can tell how much willpower it has taken her to meet her gaze like this.

“But she’s not you”, Helena quietly says, and Dinah nearly drops her beer, because such an open confession is the last thing she has expected. 

“It felt wrong”, Helena continues when Dinah can only stare at her, “to go out with someone who’s not you. Even if… we might never do that. I figured you should know.”

“Put that bottle down”, Dinah commands in reply, Helena blinking in surprise, “and then get your cute butt over here and kiss me.”

“Oh, um”, Helena stammers, and Dinah gives her an inviting look; this seems to make the assassin realize that Dinah truly just has said these things, and she hurries to do as she has been told, putting the bottle onto the table before she moves to the couch, but before she can sit down next to the singer, Dinah grabs her and practically pulls her on top of her, almost smashing their lips together. 

It’s not a sweet, romantic kiss, not slow and careful, as first kisses often are in movies; it’s almost harsh, and hungry, it’s weeks of pent-up need unloading all at once, as they both finally receive what they have been longing for.

Dinah wraps both arms around Helena and pulls her closer, until the assassin is practically lying on her, then decides this is not enough and brings up one leg as well, wrapping it around her; Helena groans into her mouth, and this only spurs Dinah on further, one of her hands gliding down until it lands on her butt, giving a firm squeeze.

Helena reacts by pushing her hips forward, up against her, and it’s her turn to groan; she tucks the assassin’s shirt out of her pants, and runs her hand beneath it and up her bare back, leaving goosebumps in her wake, and it amazes her how her gentle touch makes the usually so hard and tough assassin tremble.

“Okay”, she breathes as they pull apart again, “we didn’t go on a proper date yet? But if you don’t take me to the bedroom right now, I might explode. Or implode. Or both.”

Helena responds by pushing herself off of her - and then moving her arms beneath her back and her legs, and picking her up, Dinah letting out a mixture of surprised squeal and laugh, not quite having expected that.

“Damn”, she then says as Helena carries her to the bedroom with ease, “I knew there’s a reason I love those arms of yours.”

Helena just smirks, and shrugs, and kicks the bedroom door close behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, smoochies! Also, smut is coming.


	6. Chapter 6

Dinah honestly has been planning to do this slow and gentle, she has no idea how much experience Helena actually has and she doesn’t want to freak her out by doing anything too rash; when Helena pulls off her shirt though and throws it aside, and she gets a good and very close look at her upper body, all those plans fly out the window within the blink of an eye.

“Damn”, she breathes, running her hands down the other woman’s arms, then along her ribcage to her back, once again fascinated by how strongly Helena reacts to her touch, she actually grits her teeth as if she has to hold something back, “do you even have an idea how hot you are?”

She pulls her in for another kiss before Helena has a chance to actually answer her; keeping herself propped up over her on one arm, Helena uses her other hand to tuck at her shirt, and Dinah lifts her back off the mattress just enough to the assassin can pull it off, pulling back from the kiss just long enough to do so.

A moment later, Dinah realizes that Helena at least has to have some experience, because she reaches behind her with one hand and effortlessly unclasps her bra, raising an eyebrow at her as she pulls it off and tosses it aside as well.

“Show-off”, she then says, smirking when Helena snickers; the assassin shrugs, then tells her that she has very nimble fingers, apparently belatedly realizing that this can be taken as very innuendo-laden, to Dinah’s amusement blushing slightly.

“Why don’t you show me how nimble exactly those fingers of yours are”, Dinah suggests, then pulls her in for another kiss; she feels one of Helena’s hands go to her breast, a calloused thumb running over her nipple, and finds herself unable to hold back a moan, the noise only spurring Helena on further.

She pulls back from the kiss, and starts kissing her way down the singer’s throat and chest, until her lips close around her other breast; and apparently, not just her fingers are nimble, if the things she does with her tongue are any indication.

Dinah moans again, arching her back, and finds herself wondering how good it will be to have Helena’s tongue further south.

She tries to remind herself to not be too demanding, perhaps Helena just is a natural and if she asks for too much too fast, it will ruin everything; and just when she convinces herself of that, Helena undoes her pants, and pulls them down along with her underwear, leaving her naked, a smile curling her lips as Helena takes a few moments to just look at her, the admiration in her gaze making Dinah feel all warm and tingly inside.

“You’re so beautiful”, Helena says, sounding awed, as if she can’t believe she’s actually in bed with her; for a few more moments, she just looks - before she leans in to kiss her again, trailing one hand down her side, and this time, it’s Dinah who ends up with goosebumps, shuddering beneath the gentle touch.

Dinah has a moment to find it a bit unfair that she’s naked and Helena is still in her pants, then the assassin moves to kiss down her body again, and trails her tongue over her stomach, and all thoughts leave her, and she can only  _ feel.  _

Helena stops just shy of where Dinah wants her the most, and glances up at her, silently asking for her permission; Dinah needs a moment to be capable of answering, and when she does, she can only get out one word, but it’s enough.

“Please”, she breathes, already trembling with anticipation, and then Helena lowers her head and runs her tongue over her folds, and all she can do is groan, clinging to the blanket she’s lying on as the pleasure hits her.

As it turns out, Helena’s tongue is just as nimble as her fingers, if not more so; at some point, Dinah’s hand ends up in the assassin’s hair as she gasps for breath, her hips rising, but Helena only seems to take this as a challenge, and somehow increases her efforts.

“Fuck”, Dinah presses out between grit teeth, somehow still coherent enough to remind herself not to scream, might not be a good idea what with her powers and everything, “ _ Helena…!” _

Her orgasm washes over her, and for a few seconds, her world actually whitens out; and still Helena isn’t stopping, not at once, but slows down gradually, letting her come down slowly, and by the time she can open her eyes again, the assassin has stopped, propped up on one arm again and looking incredibly smug.

“The way you just said my name?” she says before Dinah can comment on the look on her face, “when you came? That was incredibly hot. And  _ I  _ caused it.”

“Damn right you did”, Dinah tells her, “woman, if I had known you’re so good at this, I would have made a move weeks ago. I haven’t come this hard in years.”

Helena grins at hearing that, and Dinah finds herself laughing at how proud she looks; she takes another moment to catch her breath - before she sits up, grabs Helena and practically flips her onto her back, a smirk curling her lips at the surprised noise the assassin lets out.

“Gotcha”, she then says, letting her hands glide down the taller woman’s sides - with a brief stop at the abs she likes so much - before they reach the hem of her pants, “and now, it’s time I return the favour.”

Helena responds by raising her hips, just enough so Dinah can pull off her pants; she happily does so, pausing and raising an eyebrow at the boxers the assassin is wearing beneath, then shrugging her choice of underwear off and pulling them off as well, just like Helena taking a moment for a good look once she’s naked in front of her.

“So hot”, she mumbles, amused when Helena blushes again, especially after what she just has done for her, “and all mine.”

Helena just has time for a brief nod, then Dinah is kissing her, and touching her, and for quite a while, she doesn’t think much about anything anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first smut I wrote for this pairing XD


	7. Chapter 7

In the next morning, Dinah is the first to wake up, and that surprises her a bit, because she knows Helena is normally an early riser; on the other hand though, she thinks as she smiles to herself, they  _ have  _ tired each other out the previous night, after the first round, a couple more have followed, so it’s no surprise that Helena is still fast asleep.

And how she sleeps, Dinah ponders, holding back a giggle; Helena is sprawled on her stomach, one arm draped over the singer’s waist, and she’s actually  _ drooling _ , if it had been anyone else, Dinah would have been nonplussed, but with Helena, it’s just adorable.

Now she regrets that her phone isn’t anywhere nearby, because she would have loved to have a photo of this; and as if she has heard those thoughts, and the dangers for her image as a hardened, cold-blooded killer they contain, Helena grunts, then opens one eye, peering up at Dinah, the singer smiling back at her.

“Good morning”, Dinah says after they’ve just looked at each other for a few seconds; Helena reacts by propping herself up on one arm, and capturing her lips in a slow, gentle kiss, different from the heated ones of the previous night, but making Dinah’s belly tingle just the same.

“Hmmm”, she lets out as they pull apart again, eyes sparkling, “I could get used to starting my days like that, you know.”

“Me too”, Helena tells her, belatedly realizing that they’re both naked, but she can’t find it within herself to be bothered, not after what they have done the previous night; she trails her free hand along the singer’s side, smiling when Dinah shudders visibly in reaction to her tender touch, remembering very well how she has made her tremble like this the previous night.

“So this was not a one time thing?” she asks, just to be on the safe side; and to her relief, Dinah shakes her head at once, then gives her an incredulous look, as if she can’t believe Helena really just has asked her that.

“Of course not”, she says, making the assassin smile, “come on, you think I’ve been hitting on you for weeks to get a one night stand and that’s it? If you don’t want it to be a one-time thing, neither do I.”

“I don’t”, Helena quickly says, the mere thought making her want to grimace, “I didn’t… really… notice you hitting on me? But… I really like you so… I mean, I’ve never done this relationship thing before but… I want to try. With you.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I don’t have the best track record with relationships, either”, Dinah tells her, and Helena frowns, not liking the thought of anyone being in a relationship with Dinah and not giving their best to make her happy, “but we can work this out together, one step at a time.”

“We should start with a date”, Helena solemnly says, making Dinah smile at how serious she is, “let me take you out to dinner. Tonight?”

“Sounds good”, Dinah nods, “but how about breakfast first? And a shower? I might need help washing my back, you know.”

Helena grins immediately, nodding with an eagerness which makes Dinah laugh; she leans in for another brief kiss, then gets out of bed, very aware of Helena’s eyes on her naked form when she stretches.

“Well”, she then says, Helena looking by now as if she wants to jump her again right away, “shall we, then?”

She turns and leads the way to the bathroom, and Helena is quick to follow her, Dinah smiling to herself when strong arms wrap around her from behind once they’re in the shower.

This, she decides, is going to be amazing.

* * *

“I see you still have both your kidneys”, Renee observes when they meet at the warehouse later that day; if she’s aware that Helena and Dinah have arrived together, she doesn’t comment on that, apparently more interested in Helena’s number of kidneys than this fact, but then, Dinah reflects, it’s not the first time they show up at the same time, “your date went well then?”

“I cancelled”, Helena tells her, and Renee raises an eyebrow in surprise, while Helena hasn’t seem all too into the idea, she at least hasn’t been averse to it, either; Helena shrugs at the questioning look as she sits down on the couch, removing her knives from the various sheathes hidden on her person and meticulously lining them up on the table, her usual preparation for sharpening them.

“You didn’t stand the poor woman up, did you”, Renee wants to know, looking satisfied when Helena shakes her head at once; and in this exact moment, Dinah decides she doesn’t want to wait any longer for Renee to find out, and speaks up, the former cop blinking at her choice of words.

“I’m gonna get a coke”, she states, vaguely gesturing at the little kitchen they’ve had put into the warehouse, “you want one too, babe?”

Renee blinks at the pet name, and her eyes nearly pop out of her head when Helena nods - and Dinah bends over her for a brief kiss, a short one, but right on the mouth, Renee standing there and staring as Dinah goes to get the drinks.

“Did she just kiss you on the mouth”, Renee finally regains her ability to speak, “or am I seeing things?”

“I did”, Dinah confirms as she returns with two cans of coke, sitting down next to Helena and handing one of them to her, “and you better get used to seeing that, cause it will happen more often in the future. Helena decided to cancel her date and date me instead.”

“About damn time”, Renee says with a roll of her eyes, “but if you guys think you can make out all the time now, not gonna happen, I’ll spray you both with cold water or something. And I bet you ten bucks Harley is gonna claim that the two of you ending up together is what she’s been planning the whole time, anyway.”

“Probably”, Dinah says with a roll of her eyes, while Helena just shrugs, not really caring one way or another, “but, you know, her main goal has been accomplished even without the date happening.”

“Oh?” Renee makes the mistake to ask, something she regrets a second later, as Dinah smirks, then places one hand in Helena’s thigh very deliberately, the assassin’s breath hitching noticeably in response.

“Helena got laid”, Dinah says, and Renee groans, “and she’s decidedly less grumpy now.”

“Okay, I don’t want to hear anymore about the two of you getting it on, no no no”, Renee declares, waving her hands at them as if that might shut them up, “I’m going to my office. Don’t get inappropriate out here!”

She retreats, Dinah snickering at her back while Helena smirks slightly, as well; then, she leans in for another kiss, and Helena has to admit to herself that Dinah’s been right.

She’s truly less grumpy today, she’s happier than she’s been in a long time, and while she knows it won’t all be sunshine and roses in the future, she’s certain that she will keep on being happy in the days to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another done XD I got a whole bunch more *ahem* so new, longer one will begin tomorrow :) Hope you enjoyed this and to see you there! :D

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I'm spamming the Helena/Dinah tag at this point XD but I can't help it, I love this pairing so much.


End file.
